At least once a day, I have to sit myself down and give myself a good talking to.
The other evening, I had an interpersonal conflict. (If I'm truly honest, I'll admit it was also an INTRApersonal conflict mostly created inside my own mind.) I was talking myself down as I usually do: Angela, this is a minor thing. It's nothing worth discussing or addressing, because it's not creating any real problem. Everything between you and this person is fine. I exhaled. Relax, and go to sleep now, there's nothing to worry about. I breathed deeply and snuggled into the pillow. This is not worth your mental energy. After all, you've got more important things to worry about than this.
[Insert sound of record screeching to a halt.]
"Bigger things to worry about than this?" Where did THAT come from? Is this like the old adage You've got bigger fish to fry? It must have come from my past, my pre-Christ mindset. I used to tell myself not to sweat the small stuff because I had bigger problems to resolve.
And that's when I had my epiphany.
I actually have NO BIGGER PROBLEMS TO SOLVE.
In fact, I have no problems AT ALL to solve. Sure, I don't have a place to live in New York, or renters for my place in Fort Lauderdale, and there are uncertainties about my work and health insurance and a whole host of issues that haven't been settled yet. But I can just go to sleep peacefully. God is at work, He's in control. He knows the outcome, and He'll show me any steps I need to take. In the meantime,
I will both lie down in peace and sleep,
For You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.
I've known Psalm 4:8 for years. But that night I realized that I KNOW it on the inside now. It was a such a gradual process that I missed the magnitude of what was happening: I have experienced the peace that passes understanding. The peace offered by Jesus Christ is true for me in my life. Maybe not every minute of every day yet, but it's a good start.